Lightness & Darkness

The light in me sees the light in you.

And that dark glimmer you try so hard to hide? Ya, I see that, too. And that’s where I feel most connected to you.

Because I know how easy it is to check out; to think life is too hard and just throw your hands in the air.

Succumb to the Easy Way.

The heavy weight of your own baggage that threatens to take you in like quicksand.

Feeling like you’ll never figure “it” out.

Being stuck in the past and wanting so badly to know how to break free.

That Despair? Confusion? Shame? Feel that, and know — without a doubt — that we get to come out of that, stronger and wiser than ever, if we chose.

Because that’s the thing – it’s always been Our Choice.

Sometimes people are gonna disappoint us. That’s normal. And sometimes we’ll be a disappointment.

Worst of all, sometimes we will disappoint ourselves.

Today, I urge you to dig deep into the infinite source of self-forgiveness and take as much time as you need — cry, nap, eat, connect, hibernate, practice Self Care like your life depends on it — and then move forward.

‘Cause you always have and you always will. One day at a time.

And if it’s any token, as an equally lost soul once told me: I might not be able to help you get out, but I can sure as hell drag myself right alongside you.

Xo

Don’t Wait ‘til You’re Ready

Right after I graduated college, I didn’t know what the hell I was doing. All I wanted to do was move to New York City and become a model like I’d always dreamed of, but how? It felt like there was so much money, time, and work between my dreams and I.

Now, here I am, with all these experiences that tell me I’ve accomplished some semblance of my dream, and with an equal amount telling me I’ve fallen short and nothing has been good enough.

But if I could go back in time and show my then-self what my present reality looks like, he would be so relieved to know all the hard work was worth something. So, my challenge today is trusting that every tomorrow is leading me to this same experience. If my former self knew the successes he’d experience – would that relieve some anxiety? Can I adopt that same energy into my present-day life, knowing everything is going to work out?

The only problem is, the human mind quickly adapts to new things, and that whole “grass is green on the other side” saying is totally true. So, how can I hold my future dreams at the forefront of my mind, yet allow myself to be deeply connected with My Now today? Because as much hope as tomorrow can provide, it is still not guaranteed, so how can I make My Today the best it can possibly be?

I choose to allow myself to simply Be today. With all the work ahead and all the distance I still have from my new goals, it’s OK to Be. It’s OK to enjoy. It’s OK to take a break. Everything is going to work out, and if it doesn’t, then it doesn’t.

Acceptance is my elixir.

Mean People Suck

Listen, I gotta tell you something right now. If you’re trying to get someone to like you — someone who clearly doesn’t — just stop. Let that shit go. You’re better than that.

Imagine yourself as a child, how innocent you were, how you just wanted to be loved and seen. Would you want to put that lil guy through the trauma of trying to play with a bully who kept pushing him down? Nope.

I’ve got some news for you: hurt people hurt people. It’s not your job to find out why they’re potentially part of the walking wounded. Keep it moving, bro.

When 90% of your world responds to you with simple kindness and respect, why bother with the other 10% who wanna make you feel less than? Release them in whatever way is possible for your specific situation. And if you still have to interact them regularly, keep it cute, or put it on mute.

Their may be layers of self-hate and pain there. Or not. Again, not your job to discover the “why,” you just need to love yourself through the process of accepting the situation exactly as it is. Which may be very uncomfortable. But sometimes as adults, we have to accept uncomfortable situations, and just get through them.

If you’re used to people responding to you in a certain way, I know it can be hard when someone varies in a negative way. What part of your own ego can you let go of? How can you practice self respect? And when the urge to people-please rears it’s ugly head, please take a deep breath and be okay with an awkward silence or two.

It’s not your job to make mean people feel uncomfortable.

Self Care > Success

Life is up and down. Life is messy. Life isn’t linear. We’re not living in our parent’s age anymore, so let’s release our parents’ scripts.

What this world needs more of is self compassion. Yes, we’re all fighting to be seen, heard, and loved. Yes, many of us feel tired. Yes, the energy today is highly volatile and unlike any energy our human form has experienced.

How can we relax into this here and now without steamrolling ourselves? Can we treat ourselves with the gentleness, love, playfulness, and respect we would for an innocent child?

Yes, the critical inner voice will always be there – that’s not going away. But you gotta stop believing that shit. Watch the negative messages come by like a passing cloud. Feel them for only as long as you need to, to become aware that the script was switched — it’s all mixed up — cause those nasty messages aren’t for you, you beautiful ball of humanness. Release the harshness toward yourself. Release the judgement. Because no one’s ever gonna judge you as harshly as you judge yourself.

Hang in there, people. If you feel like you’re fighting, pushing, striving, and forcing, take a breather. Take a fucking bubble bath. Know that you’re doing enough. Know that you are enough. You are enough.